Saturday, February 16

the novelty factor


Remember when you first met your person? You could talk on the phone for hours without running out of intriguing conversation... Just thinking about him/her caused your pulse to accelerate... Can you recall those fluttery feelings? All the anticipation? Those sparks you seemed to generate whenever you were in close vicinity? Okay. This is a little gross now, but can you recall all those times you spent making out in the car in front of restaurants, homes, movie theaters.... Those were good times.

Fast-forward to ten years and two kids later... What's that song about the "thrill" being gone? It's definitely gone. Those fluttery feelings have been replaced by intense irritation at the way he taps his fork on his plate while he's eating dinner. Or the desire to hit her in the head with a pot when she loads the dishwasher incorrectly for the millioneth time (that is if she ever loads it at all). The disagreements about who isn't rinsing out the sink after brushing their teeth. Nevemind that the one complaining the most adamantly has never cleaned any part of the bathroom to begin with, so why the fuss? Eventually you become two disgruntled beings, stomping/tiptoeing around a domecile, making curt responses to queries about kids and household needs. Intimacy, unfortunately, becomes a chore. A task needing to be checked off a to do list.

To remedy this symptom of an ailing marriage, the Date Night is prescribed. Baby sitters are obtained. Reservations made. Movies attended. And the result is...fine. Which is okay. But what happened to those sparks? Introduce the Novelty Factor.

Being a semi-frequent participant in marital Date Nights (although they have become fewer and farther between since moving to Tucson), I found this article to be interesting, especially considering it supports my feelings about newness and the complacency of the familiar.

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