this life

This new life is all about not enough time in the day.  And never being able to be in all the places my kids need me to be in.  And not making dinner but buying fast food like every night.  And not bathing Hayden for 3 days in a row because I just can't fight her aversion to water.  And throwing away the daily paper still in the bag the newspaper dude delivered it in because I don't have time to watch any trashy tv, let alone read the f'ing newspaper.  And leaving my girls to get to school on their own, which I know they are fine with but still it bothers me.  And putting off taking Hayden to the doctor even though the crap pouring out of her nose just gets greener and greener each day, and, oh awesome, this morning it has moved up to her eyes.  And falling into bed by 8:13 because I can't stay up another second.

day 1: post accident

Yesterday on the way home from the Reid Park Zoo, we had a little car-tastrophe.  Someone in a big old F150 smashed into the back of my teeny tiny Versa at an intersection in Tucson.  The driver admitted fault and we easily exchanged information.  We filed a report with a TPD officer, and we were on our way.  Shaky but back in action. 

That's not really the worst of it.  The bad part has been dealing with the insurance company.  No big surprise.  After 3 phone calls, I now have a claim number but not much else.  Apparently the driver has to admit fault to State Farm for all of this to be real.  Never mind that she admitted fault to me, the people in her car, the Tucson Police Officer...EVERYONE who would listen.  It's not real until she tells the State Farm Rep sitting in a random call center in Nebraska that "Yes, the accident was my fault." 

Granted my need for urgency is increased because after 4 years of staying at home, all that ends on Monday, meaning my time is not my own and I don't have infinite amounts of semi-free time to deal with bureaucratic craziness.  Our maybe I'm just bitter that very shortly after we have paid off this car, it now has a big ol' dent in it and the  hatchback doesn't open and close properly.  Whatever it is I'm hostile about the whole thing and just want a satisfactory conclusion ... SOON.

new right now

Spent the day with Mitchell in the ER.  After a miserable night at home, I convinced him to go in.  Long story short...The ct scan they did today showed "significant" growth in numbers and size of lesions in his liver and a handful new metastases in both lungs as well as growth in those already present.  He was finally admitted late this evening.  The plan is to reintroduce liquids and food and then his meds and see whether or not he can tolerate them.  Not sure how long his stay will be.

Although I am not surprised at this news, it leaves me feeling hostility toward health care in general.  Perhaps if the insurance company would pay for scans at regular intervals for Mitchell, the oncologist would know in a more timely manner that a protocol wasn't working.  I also realize that  chances are slim to none that we will beat this cancer...Knowing that, shouldn't Mitchell be given the opportunity to extend his life while battling this disease as much as is medically reasonable?  And have a reasonable quality of life at that? 

The longer we are in this, the more medicine seems to be random shots in the dark and less science and logic based on evidence.  No one seems to really know anything with any kind of authority. 

11

Eleven doesn't like vegetables.  Or any meat other than "steak".  It doesn't want anything whole grain; white and processed is considered best.  Eleven will eat mashed potatoes but don't try to scallop or au gratin.  Things that 10 loved 11 despises. 

It would love a diet of items filled with sugar and red dye #5, anything processed and pre-packaged ... oh and gum (no mint flavored). 

weather letter

Hey, Southern AZ!

Enough is enough. I'm sick of the heat already.

It is October 19th; get with the fricken program and cool down!

Sincerely,

Disgruntled and Sweaty