Isn't it weird?

So on Tuesday I went to the ob/gyn. Everything's seemingly fine going in. Do the pelvic. Fine. Aside, of course, from the woman's need to have a conversation with me while she's got the speculum at 15 and her hands are way up into my chest cavity. AWESOME. Too bad this is a once yearly thing.... so fabulous. At this point, I can't remember if the breast exam was before or after the crotch part.... Probably before. Anyway. Get to the shaboobies and right one's fine. Let's move on to the left. Wait a minute... What's that? Some kind of lump or bump or alien artifact. Drink a lot of caffiene? Yep. Yeah. It's probably a cyst. Super! Keep your eye on that....If it doesn't go away in 3 months, we'll check it out. I suppose I must have had a mask of terror on my face because suddenly she was writing a referral for a sonogram. Okay. I'm not excited about it, but I'd rather figure out what it is than wait 3 months, allowing my hyperchondriacal self perseverate on my left boob for the next 90 or so days. Well. The oh-so-simple sonogram has transformed into a sonogram with a full blown mammogram. No lotion. No deoderant. Have I mentioned my addiction to lotion? Not too mention I heard numerous times that a mammogram is an extremely uncomfortable (e.g. painful) experience. I am not looking forward to this.