at this moment

Now realizing there's a big difference between thinking you are prepared to handle something and actually confronting the reality of what that something means. 

At this moment, I am praying for strength for all of us.  And time.  Time for him and me and for Taylor, Dylan and Hayden. 

epic fail

Mitchell's experimental treatment appears to have been just that.  He was officially taken off the gleevec and celebrex protocol as it was not having any impact on the cancer's growth.  He is being discharged from UMC this morning with 2 different types of morphine in pill form to help him with pain management.  There is talk of enrolling him in a clincial trial sometime this week, but first he needs to meet with Dr. Brown to go over whatever it is they need to review. 

I'm hoping the clincial trial administers the chemo through infusion.  Mitchell hasn't had much success with pills so far.  I'm also hoping that this episode helps to remind my spouse to be more responsive to the signals he gets from his body.  For people in his situation, things don't usually just "go away". 

good news/bad news

The results of the PET scan show that the lesions in Mitchell's liver are just about gone! Great news. Unfortunately the lesion/nodule in his lung is hanging in there...It is about 3 mm larger than the first PET. Granted 3 mm is so small, it's almost nothing, right? Also there is a decent reason to believe that the nodules in his lung are becoming cavitious. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Basically, Mitchell will have to continue chemotherapy for the next 3 to 4 months. At the end of that time, there will be another PET to determine what will happen next. It still seems sketchy, but I'm learning to live with it.

I'm glad this election season is almost over. I'm hoping that Americans voted with their minds and not their phobias. I know that in my ultra-conservative neighborhood, McCain will be king. But maybe, just maybe the rest of the country voted for change.