why i heart the doodlebug

• Answers to "DooDoo" without batting an eye


• Junior wordsmith: crafting gems like "my privacy" and "the hot pee pee"


• Enjoys a constant state of ashiness


• Routinely concocts brilliant ensembles such as jeans with mini-skirts and short-shorts with tank tops and knee high boots


• Fav at-home outfit: underpants, the rattier the better


• Consumes iceberg lettuce as if it were ambrosia


• Crazy big chiclet teeth


• Ability to go from calm to foaming at the mouth lunatic in about 4 seconds for no reason other than she can


• Will pick her nose in public if necessary (and, trust me, it frequently is)


• Transforms into a small, space heater while sleeping


• Won't hug or kiss you if she doesn't feel like it and doesn't care if it hurts your feelings


• Quick to tell you about yourself